How to Set Rules and Expectations with Your Keyholder in Chastity Training

Jumping into chastity training is exciting, but if you don’t set clear rules with your keyholder from the start, things can get messy—fast. The key to a smooth, satisfying experience? Laying down straightforward expectations that both of you actually understand and agree on.

1. Start with What You Both Want

Before anything goes on, sit down and talk about what you want from this. Is it about control? Trust? Fun? Maybe a mix. Be honest about what you expect and what you’re okay with. For example, how often will the cage be locked? Are there “safe words” or signals if things get too intense?

The clearer you are, the fewer surprises later.

2. Set Clear Limits — And Stick to Them

It’s tempting to say, “Lock me up for as long as you want!” but that can lead to confusion. Agree on specific rules like:

• How long the lockup lasts (hours, days, weeks)

• When and how you can ask for release (if at all)

• What behaviors might earn you a “time out” or extra lock time

Writing this down helps keep both of you on the same page.

3. Define Communication Rules

Locked up doesn’t mean forgotten. Decide how often you’ll check in. Daily messages? Weekly calls? And what kind of updates does the keyholder expect?

If you’re feeling frustrated or uncomfortable, how do you bring it up without breaking the rules? Setting this tone early avoids confusion and keeps trust solid.

4. Agree on Punishments and Rewards

Training is more than just lock and key—it’s about behavior. Talk about what happens if rules get broken. Maybe extra time locked, or a task to complete. Rewards can be just as important—like a special night unlocked or a treat.

Having this clear turns training into a game you both enjoy, with clear expectations.

5. Review and Adjust Regularly

People change, and so do feelings. Schedule check-ins to talk about what’s working and what isn’t. Maybe you want longer lockups next time, or the keyholder wants more control. Being flexible keeps things fresh and fun.

Clear rules don’t kill the fun—they make it better. They build trust and keep everyone happy. Whether you’re new to chastity or seasoned, taking the time to set expectations with your keyholder means fewer headaches and way more satisfaction.

Need the right device to get started? Check out our selection of secure, comfortable chastity cages designed for every kind of keyholder and wearer.

Lock in your rules, lock in your pleasure.